suffering the loss of a best friend

My name is donald joe clark. Up until several hours ago i took in an alligator and named him Lockjaw. Lockjaw wasn't my pet. we had a mutual respect for eachother, a bond, a friendship. For the last year and a half, he has been the most consisent element in my life. He was always there, always so gentle and affectionate. There is no creature on this planet who is even capable of sharing the bond that lockjaw and I had... I honestly have no idea how to handle this. This was a wake up call. It just shows me how fragile life is. I don't ever want to own another life again, mine is too much already. I'm not sure how much more loss I can take, I think to myself "this isn't even a human life, this is just a pet. That the fuck are you going to do when your parents die?" Yeah sorry. No music, I just needed to vent. I'm drunk on the njtransit train to philly for marc greene's birthday. Fuck.